As a child of abuse, I didn't think I had a choice but to stay silent. That gave him just what he needed to groom me into the perfect silent adult who never asked anyone else for help because he had made it clear that I could never live without him. I overcame that programming with God's love and mercy. I went on to be his caregiver in the end through forgiveness. I could not watch my worst enemy die alone.

With the help of God, I learned to be there for most of the people that I loved in their final days. I tried to be the person they needed me to be, to show them they were not alone because there is nothing worse than feeling alone and helpless.

I learned that having a forgiving heart, in the long run, helped me more than the one being forgiven. It was therapeutic for me, and I wondered, Is this how God feels every time He has to forgive us over and over again? It was not the curse I believed it to be. It was a gift that God gave me out of love to help me survive the life that I had to live. Forgiveness was my saving grace.

With God carrying me every step of the way, I survived and am here to try to help others survive it too. I just need God to continue to show me the way.