John Moynihan Tettemer entered the Passionist Order of Monks in 1894. After years of solitude, prayer, and strict monastic observance, he pledged his vows on September 21, 1896.

He took the name of Ildephonsus of the Sorrowful Virgin. After five years of study in this country and in Rome, he was ordained by Cardinal Respigli in the Cathedral of St. John Lateran on Sept. 21, 1901.

After decades of religious training and service in one of the most austere branches of his church, he began to suffer health problems, and was ordered by his physician to take time away from his job to rest. During his recuperation, as he reflected on his life's direction, he decided to leave the order that he had dedicated his life to for so many years.

This is the story of his journey, his experiences, and his reflections on life, faith, and personal reflection.

From the Foreword by Jean Burden

"John the Divine" we always called him, jokingly, irreverently, and with profound affection. . . . The goodness in him was as real and strong as in a tree. I can see him walking toward us with quick, small steps as though pushing back a monk's robe with his feet, his massive head, with its plume of white hair blown in the wind, balancing a tall, powerfully built frame, his arms outstretched to embrace us. "You look so holy today, John," we would tease. And he would reply with a twinkle: "I can't help it-I just washed my hair."

From the introduction by John Burton

A great American scholar, a dean in one of our major universities once said to me: "A John Tettemer should be living on every campus in this country-not with classes to teach as a professor of other men's philosophies, but as a living philosopher, a living touchstone, to kindle in every-one the fires of adventure and search."