Until I read this book I thought that when a conflict occurred between people, either one had to back down, or some kind of (often unsatisfactory) compromise had to be found, or else the conflict somehow ignored altogether. Now I understand how conflicts can be resolved in a meaningful and creative way. The authors explain how, when a conflict arises, the usual response is for each person to become defensive, striving to protect their own perspective on the matter. The book details how to overcome this defensiveness and create a situation where each can consider the other person's viewpoint, without sacrificing their own, and from this find a workable solution which respects both perspectives. Tools are included to help the reader discover his or her own typical mode of response, and understand other modes, and how to work with them. The second half of the book details how parenting, education and society tend to mould one's response to conflict, and a chapter on religious conflict is a valuable addition. The style of this important book is rather like a textbook which makes for concerted effort to get everything from it; the inclusion of numerous examples is very helpful. I'd like to see a companion volume which is a simple handbook of the most important principles, which the man on the shop floor and the girl at the checkout would find easily digestible. The manager, the pastor and anyone who finds themselves in a mediating role will find it invaluable to read this book.