Intense Fellowship: The Art of Fighting Fair

Do you have to learn everything the hard way? Have you found yourself on the losing end of relationships over and over? Meet your twin. Me. I often thought I should've been a monk. (I didn't think being a nun would be as much fun.) After two relationships ended pitifully, I began to think I didn't have what it takes to navigate a healthy relationship. With that conclusion, I literally built a handicapped accessible home I could grow old in, alone, just me and lots of dogs. I built it, moved in, and then God showed me His plan.

His plan included my remarrying. And again, I found myself feeling futile and inadequate when it came to emotional disputes and navigating disagreements. I would either explode or my mind would go numb. I realized folks will spend lots of money writing out and building a business plan for their career, but nobody ever writes out a plan to navigate the most difficult parts of their marriage. My husband and I assessed pretty quickly, and with great intensity, that we would need a plan if our marriage was going to survive. For me, a plan has to be easily manageable or I'm out. This book is just that. Aptly named (other than a lot of funny stories) it consists of simple rules for fighting fair.

After all, when you play monopoly or rook, you have rules. Why not have rules for love and war-or ideally to avoid a war? In an uncomplicated fashion (like I prefer) there is a concise list of the rules in the back of the book that you can post on your frig, so you are prepped when the kerfuffle starts to amp up. All you need is a commitment-ideally prior to marriage-to adhere to the rules of "Intense Fellowship" as soon as an unwieldy conflict presents itself. After all, a simple plan is better than living alone with 39 cats.