Once We Were Strangers: What Friendship with a Syrian Refugee Taught Me about Loving My Neighbor

This is a moving yet unsentimental story about the friendship between an introvert Christian American father (Shawn) and a tenacious Muslim Syrian father (Mohammed) who came to America as a refugee. When faced with the refugee crisis, it’s tempting to ask, ‘how can I help refugees?’ Shawn and Mohammed’s story, immaculately and compellingly told, calls us to ask a harder question, ‘how can I love and be friends with refugees?’ In a society that increasingly is suspicious of the ‘other’ and looks at refugees as problems to be fixed rather than people to be embraced, this beautiful example of friendship shows that it’s love that will slowly, stubbornly change the world. What makes this memoir so special is its ability to handle with respect and dignity the friendship without falling into stereotypes or tropes – Mohammed is struggling, but he’s not a victim; he needs help from Shawn, but not rescue.

I devoured it for the wonderful storytelling: I held my breath as Mohammed watched his village bombed, gasped at his struggle to find a country to live in, raged at the racism refugees face, cried when reflecting on the astute observations Shawn makes about our attitude to the other. It has stayed with me as a beautiful challenge to reflect on what it means to love people different to us, without expectation or obligation. Outstanding memoir – highly recommended.