The book we didn't know we needed - hilarious and action-packed, this novel has you laughing and crying well into the night. Read with caution.

Joe Vallen is a normal author - our world's JV, anyway. The Joe Vallen of our novel is the most wealthy author to ever live, in a world where countries go to war for their writers, books are traded on the black market, and new releases are more important than the Super Bowl.

He's at the height of his career, although suffering and sensitive from a long writers block. After a series of seemingly unconnected side-adventures doing "research" for his next book, Joe is irreversibly connected to an eclectic cast of characters. But, his fun is cut short when he learns a dangerous and depressing truth about the reality of his career. When he's brought face to face with the man behind that truth, the entire world is brought into the fight. As he completes his new book, a literal battle rages around him and worldwide forces collide in order to protect him and his work from being interrupted. Accompanied by a acid-dropping young chemist, Leneya, Vallen finally completes what could be the best work of his life... but at what cost?

Fans of Kurt Vonnegut's "Slaughterhouse Five", Douglas Adams' "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy", or Tom Robbins' "Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas" rejoice: you've found a contemporary dark humorist with plenty more in store.

"Vallen has reached the next level in his literary composition."

"Wild ride of a book"

"Smart and witty with an edge."